Money, money, money ...

MONEY, money, money; always sunny in the rich man’s world”.

When Swedish pop group ABBA penned those immortal lyrics, I wouldn’t imagine that they dreamt that the 21st century’s global economy would ever resemble the minefield of misery as we now find it.

Even for the rich, there is a storm brewing over the horizon, and sunny days may be a thing of the past for a long time to come. Fluctuations in the stock market may be positive one day and negative the next. Yet the general wave of uncertainty will probably cause a widespread hesitation to either spend or borrow money, and may also plunge many countries into recession.

Perhaps ABBA also didn’t dare to dream that there would be quite so many greedy bankers and insurance company parasites as there are today – all influenced, of course, by the policies and inept administration of the most incompetent US president in history, George W. Bush.

So where does the English language fit into all this mess?

Well, English is the language of global commerce, business, banking and finance. Stock market traders generally converse in English, although various forms of non-verbal communication are also at their disposal. Not all of which are polite.

Therefore, as we are experiencing a global economic crisis, perhaps we should take a quick look at a short lexicon of money.

Affluent: rich, wealthy, prosperous.

Assets: collateral, or something of value, which can be sold to repay debts, such as a house or an expensive artwork or jewellery.

Bankrupt: to be insolvent, not having enough money to pay back debts, and having credit options withdrawn and cancelled for a set period of time.

Barter system: a method of paying for goods or services by exchanging your own goods or services for such. Start learning a trade, skill, or how to make something people need. Should we ever reach the day when all money is worthless, the barter system will help to put food on your table.

Billionaire: a person who has more than a billion pounds or dollars, etc. The richest man in the world is 77-year-old American businessman Warren Buffett. He is worth £32bil. Closely followed by Bill Gates, who has £30bil.

Capital: a large sum of money usually earmarked for a business investment, or for making large purchases such as buying a house.

Commodity: a raw material or a product which can be purchased or sold. Crude oil, gold, rice and flour are some of the most important commodities. In the future, water may be even more desirable.

Debt: that which one owes.

Devaluation: a reduction and depreciation of a currency’s value.

Down at heel: an expression referring to a person who is going through a period of hardship and who can’t even afford new shoes. Hence the worn-down heels of his old ones.

Economy: the delicate balance of a country’s supply of money, means of production, and the demand for tradable goods.

Equity: after all debts are settled and all payments made, equity is the remaining value of a property or shares.

Fiat currency: money which is manufactured at the request of a financial authority or government, without the immediate backing of a valuable commodity which it represents. A contemporary example of fiat money can be found in Zimbabwe, where new print runs of the country’s almost worthless currency keep being authorised to match hyperinflation.

Gold standard: when the value of a currency is fixed to the weight and purity of fine gold bullion (bars, ingots and coins in bulk). An old system which many countries may now reinstate due to the current global economic crisis. The downfall of the American dollar, should it occur, could be traced back to 1971 when President Nixon abandoned US ties to the gold standard.

Hyperinflation: when inflation is spiralling out of control, such as in Zimbabwe, under the Mugabe regime.

Interest: the additional money you pay back when you borrow a certain sum from a bank, building society or credit card company. People often struggle to meet extortionate interest payments each month, and borrowers find that, due to high interest rates, they often pay back many times the amount of money they initially borrowed.

Inflation: when the cost of goods and services increases and the value of a currency decreases. This is most often caused by an overissuing of money by a central bank, thus devaluing it.

Invest: when one buys property, commodities or shares in a company, with the aim of making a healthy profit. Occasionally, investments are made for philanthropic reasons, without profit. A rich man may act as the financial patron or sponsor of a charity, sports club, school or community centre, for which he feels some compassion.

Led by Britain, France and the US, the world’s governments seem to be doing their best to remedy the dire situation of banks and businesses toppling like dominoes. But of course there will be a knock-on effect soon to come, and there will be no hiding place from the shock wave.

Whilst the actual banking crisis may be over, how it all affected “Main Street” has still to be seen. Public spending, tourism, foreign investment and the housing market will all be touched by the growing hand of doom.

As we began this money lexicon with Swedish pop idols, let’s now follow the advice of English rock giants Pink Floyd:

“Money, it’s a gas, grab that cash with both hands and make a stash.”