Cartoon Jokes - Feb 21
Memaparkan catatan dengan label Jokes. Papar semua catatan
Memaparkan catatan dengan label Jokes. Papar semua catatan
Sabtu, Februari 21, 2009
Khamis, Februari 19, 2009
Rabu, Februari 18, 2009
Jumaat, Januari 09, 2009
Video - Funny election song for Malaysia
Source : leekimchuan
Sabtu, November 22, 2008
Before & After Marriage
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
Now after the marriage you can read it from below to top !!!!
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
Now after the marriage you can read it from below to top !!!!
Who Say Our English Is Not Good ?
Who Say Our English Is Teruk Just See Below .
It's so simple,short, concise, straight-to- the-point, effective etc...
WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.
RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wa llet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?
WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!
WHEN DOUBTING SOME ONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money
Malaysians: Where got?
WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...
IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom. I have to stop you there. I understand where are you coming from, but I really have to disagree with what u said about the issue
Malaysians: You mad, ah?
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?
WHEN ASSESING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be a little bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die la!!!
WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: What happen? Why like that?
WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here let me show you..
Malaysians: Like that also duno how to do..
WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians: Chilaka you!!
It's so simple,short, concise, straight-to- the-point, effective etc...
WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.
RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wa llet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?
WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!
WHEN DOUBTING SOME ONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money
Malaysians: Where got?
WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...
IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom. I have to stop you there. I understand where are you coming from, but I really have to disagree with what u said about the issue
Malaysians: You mad, ah?
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?
WHEN ASSESING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be a little bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die la!!!
WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: What happen? Why like that?
WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here let me show you..
Malaysians: Like that also duno how to do..
WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians: Chilaka you!!
Isnin, November 17, 2008
The Y Generation
Hmm, I've always wondered this myself.
Now I know.
- The Silent generation, people born before 1946.
- The Baby Boomers, people born between 1946 and 1959.
- Generation X, people born between 1960 and 1979.
- Generation Y, people born between 1980 and 1995.
Why do we call the last one generation Y?
I did not know, but a caricaturist explains it eloquently below...
Learned something new!
Scroll down a bit.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
\/
Now I know.
- The Silent generation, people born before 1946.
- The Baby Boomers, people born between 1946 and 1959.
- Generation X, people born between 1960 and 1979.
- Generation Y, people born between 1980 and 1995.
Why do we call the last one generation Y?
I did not know, but a caricaturist explains it eloquently below...
Learned something new!
Scroll down a bit.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
\/
Ahad, November 16, 2008
Stupid Question With Smart Answer
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "... And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "... And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
Sabtu, November 15, 2008
39 Benefits of Being a Woman?
1.We got off the Titanic first.
2.We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3.We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
4.We can cry and get out of (most) speeding fines.
5.We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
6.Taxis stop for us.
7.We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
8.Free drinks, free dinners, free movies.
9.New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
10.No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
11.We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month.
12.We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
13.If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
14.We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.
15.We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
16.If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
17.We have the ability to dress ourselves.
18.We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
19.If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
20.We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
21.There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
22.We'll never regret piercing our ears.
23.We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
24.We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.
25.Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous (whereas guys look like complete idiots in our clothes).
26.We can hug a friend without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
27.We can hug a friend without wondering if WE'RE gay.
28.Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.
29.If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.
30.It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
31.If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it's because we're being emotionally neglected.
32.We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
33.If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
34.We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
35.We have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.
36.Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
37.Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.
38.We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
39.We're NOT men."
haha! :)
2.We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3.We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
4.We can cry and get out of (most) speeding fines.
5.We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
6.Taxis stop for us.
7.We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
8.Free drinks, free dinners, free movies.
9.New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
10.No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
11.We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month.
12.We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
13.If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
14.We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.
15.We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
16.If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
17.We have the ability to dress ourselves.
18.We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
19.If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
20.We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
21.There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
22.We'll never regret piercing our ears.
23.We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
24.We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.
25.Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous (whereas guys look like complete idiots in our clothes).
26.We can hug a friend without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
27.We can hug a friend without wondering if WE'RE gay.
28.Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.
29.If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.
30.It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
31.If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it's because we're being emotionally neglected.
32.We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
33.If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
34.We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
35.We have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.
36.Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
37.Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.
38.We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
39.We're NOT men."
haha! :)
Ahad, November 09, 2008
Aged Women
What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68?
At 8 — You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 — You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 — You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 — She tells you a story and takes you to bed
At 48 — She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 — You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 — If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!
At 8 — You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 — You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 — You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 — She tells you a story and takes you to bed
At 48 — She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 — You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 — If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!
Jumaat, Oktober 24, 2008
Sample of Modern Love Letter
Dearest Bedah;
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since
Tuesday, the 17th of August 2003.
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 17th of August2003at
1500 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of no less than
three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous
relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to
promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and
entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later,
based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.
However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense
account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this
letter,failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and
I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could
forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this
offer.Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely
Abu
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since
Tuesday, the 17th of August 2003.
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 17th of August2003at
1500 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of no less than
three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous
relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to
promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and
entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later,
based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.
However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense
account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this
letter,failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and
I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could
forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this
offer.Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely
Abu
Isnin, Oktober 20, 2008
Men Are Like??
1. Men are like . .Laxatives ... They irritate the crapout of you.
2. Men are like Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like . Weather... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like . Blenders ... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like . Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials... You can't believe all they say.
7. Men are like .. Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like . Government Bonds .. They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like . Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like . Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming, how many inchesyou'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like Lava Lamps... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like . Parking Spots ... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Now u can ask this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know!!
2. Men are like Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like . Weather... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like . Blenders ... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like . Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials... You can't believe all they say.
7. Men are like .. Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like . Government Bonds .. They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like . Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like . Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming, how many inchesyou'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like Lava Lamps... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like . Parking Spots ... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Now u can ask this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know!!
Langgan:
Catatan (Atom)
