Nurture your child

Children thrive on love, so shower them with plenty of affection and attention.

One four-year-old boy told his father: “I like sitting with you.” His father had been away working for months. The boy was beaming with joy as he sat next to the person he loves.

Children yearn for their parents’ attention. They thrive on their parents’ love. Parents provide for their children’s physical needs. Sometimes they even over-indulge their children with luxuries. They buy them gifts to make up for lost time. But do they actually communicate their love for their children?

Many tell their children that they love them. What they say does not mean much to their children if they hardly know what is going on in their children’s lives.

What children want is for their parents to acknowledge them as they grow and learn. A simple nod or a smile suffices when they come running with their new painting.

As children grow older, they explore various ways of doing things. They want their parents to take a stand with them when they are trying to do the right thing. It is those special moments when your children least expect you to act in a certain way, that makes them feel that you love them unconditionally.

Children know when they have done something wrong. They know they will be punished for it. But when you pay attention to what is really important, you may want to surprise your child with an understanding and loving heart.

You can say: “What you have done is wrong. I am very angry that you did not obey my words. I know you expect me to punish you. But this time, I choose to turn something negative into something positive. Let’s find a way together for you to learn this lesson well and not repeat it.”

I am not suggesting that parents let children off the hook everytime they do something wrong. They will have to face the consequences of their misbehaviour or wrongdoing. You have to deal with it in an appropriate manner. Children will come to accept and learn their lessons when they know that their parents still love them even though they discipline them. They learn a great deal from their interactions with the significant adults in their lives.

If they hear more positive words from their parents instead of negative ones, they will surely be on the right track in their behaviour.

Here are some ways to create cherished moments with your child:

Spend time together

The younger your child is, the more time he needs from you. If your child is still a baby, he needs you there as much as possible. Personally, you may take five minutes to shower and get ready. But your baby needs you to spend at least 20 minutes to help him get ready for his bath.

Talk him through the process of undressing and preparing for bath time. This is effective bonding time for parent and child.

Sing along with your child

It does not matter that your singing is worse than some of the contestants in the American Idol show. You can rewrite some of the lyrics of your favourite songs with your child. It adds that extra bit of fun for your child when you put his or her name in the song.

Have fun with ‘feel-your-way art’

Be yourself when you draw or paint with your child. Tell your child to look at the object that he is drawing, not at his paper. Your child can use a pencil to draw the outline. This method of “feeling with the mind’s fingers” when your child draws, casting away all consciousness, can be quite fun. Everyone in the family can join in too.

Engage in water play

Even adults have endless fun playing with water. Washing the car with a pail and large sponge can provide one of those great parent-child moments. Children also like to play in the rain. Both parent and child can go out in their raincoats and play in the rain.

Learn from role-playing

Role-playing can teach children many things that parents find hard to talk about. Children love wearing adult clothes and pretending to be fathers and mothers. Sometimes in role-playing, parents can see reflections of themselves in their children.

From there, they can learn whether they are setting the right example for their children.

One child told his father who was reading the newspaper in the same room with him: “You are not listening to me.” The father behind the newspaper mumbled: “Of course, I am.” Children know their parents care for them when they give their full attention.